It was a very lonely time, but so sick I really didn 't care. The nurses kept me company at night when I was too sick to sleep. I felt like I was near death's door and no body cared. Spent the whole christmas day by myself. The nurses felt sorry for me, so they came in my room every 15 minutes it seem like, to check on me.
If Jeanette had been here, I feel sure she would have kept me company with her comments and jokes. She was so sweet and funny, funny. I miss her so much.
I am not one of these people that has to be praised for what I do but would like my family to at least ( act ) like they care. I do so many special things for them, anytime they ask I try to accomodate them even if I don't feel like it. I always thought family was supose to be so loving and caring, but I guess I have failed them in some way to make them treat me the way they do. I tried to raise them to realize that family was so important.
I loved all my brothers and sisters, and yes things was not always peachy between us but the love was still there. You just have to learn to keep your distance when things is not quite right and eventially it will be OK again. It happen many times. I still try to keep the bond between us there, I try to have a dinner every year and there is always someone who does not feel the importance of to be there. I know I have one sister who lives far away and cannot come, but the ones who live short distances does not feel the importance of it. I know her desire is to be with us. We have spent a month with them the last three years and enjoyed it so much, we keep going back. They can only say I tried. This year I guess I will not have it, I have been too sick but I know no one is going to step up to the plate and take over and do it. We have another one missing this year and next year we do not know what it will hold for us. I tell them every year when I call, you better come because we are all getting older and health problems creeping up on us, one of us may not be here another year. Now we have two who have gone on to be with the Lord, out of eight. We are very fortinate to have spent a lot of years together.
When I am gone my kids will miss me, I know, but it will be too late for some of them to show me.I don't want a lot, just a hello. I could not make it without my oldest Nancy, she is so special to me. A wonderful daughter, mother and a grandmother. She has had a lot of hard knocks in life, but has come out a wonderful,caring person. Everyone who knows her recognizes that. God broke the mold when he made her, I don't know what happen to the rest.
I love my grandkids so much and they love me, so I am going to focus on them these coming years and not so much on my kids, that is some of them. I told Pam I could use some help after knee surgery, she came one day, because I ask her too, I needed to discuss finances with her, the only reason. One phone call in six weeks. None while in hospital either time, Tony, one visit only , either time, reason they had to meet someone at the airport and came early, no phone calls.
James he lives in Louisiana, five hours away. Was going to come, had cold I said no. I got phone calls.
YES I AM FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. LOL
In the hospital I met a lot of hurting hearts and made a lot of friends, some of which is becoming very special to me. So I can have a family of friends, and I do have a lot of friends that are very special to me. I am sending one of my nurses a bible like mine, she liked it so well.
I will keep doing the best that I can for as long as the Lord leaves me here. I am just me. You only heve one set of parents, love them with all your heart, even though you dont always see eye to eye.
GOD BLESS AND KEEP ALL OF YOU AND HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
LONG TIME COMING
I know it has been a long time since I posted, Have not been well and don't know if I will ever be again or not. So many things has happen since my last one, I will try to get you up to date. Have not even read any ones blog lately. Looking forward to 2011 maybe it will be better. I will try to finish this blog.
I got sick Dec. 21 at about 4 am. I got sick at my stomach, then diarrah, then come the blood. I poured blood all day. Coy had a Dr. appt for 2:45, did not know if I would be able to go with him or not. I called Nancy to see if she could meet him over there if I was not able. She thought I had a virus, I did not tell her what was going on. I did get to feeling better,not so sick at my stomach. We went on to the Dr. found out Coy needs a total shoulder, his rotator cuff is completely gone. We would have to see another Dr. They would call with an appointment. We came straight home from there. Nancy had hired a girl to come clean my house for my Christmas present and she was here finishing up when we returned. I was so sick, I came in and immediately went a laid down in the living room. I kept thinking the blood would stop, but it didn't. I still told no one how bad I was. I went to bed, got up on Wed. morning and I was no better as I knew that, it was all night. I called my gastro Dr. as soon as he opened, told the nurse what was going on and Dr. Hardin called me back personally, told me to come straight to the hospital, if I came to his office he would just have to send me somewhere else to get test run, so it would be better if I came straight to the Hospital, in which I did. I was there before 9:30. Was going to take shower and wash my hair before I went but he said no come now.
They run blood test of all kinds, hooked me up to IV, did a CT scan and admitted me.
Well when they admitted me I knew I had to tell someone where I was. So I finally called Nancy after I got in my room which was nearly time for her to get off work and I knew she would be calling me as she always does to check up on us. I told her not to come over, I would call her later. I guess she told some of the other kids Maranda called and said they was coming up, Rochell had to see some one as they was coming in on a plane and they was going to the airport.
I was so sick. As soon as I got sick the day before I begin my liquid diet. They kept me on it for 6 days. I was really getting weak. No energy. They did O&P and cultures the next day.
Dr. Hardin said he thought I had food poisioning that just completely made a mess out of my colon. I already had Diverticulum and that caused Diverticulitis and ulcerated colitis so I was in real bad shape and besides that I was dehydrated so they poured the liquids in me.
There I was laid up in the bed and needing to exercise my knee to keep it from getting stiff and didn't even feel like holding my head up. I slept a lot taking pain medicine, the pain was so bad.
I begin having water stools. That was bad and the odor was awful.
Thanks for everyone prayers, that is how I made it through. God is so Good. Sometimes he puts us through things so we can be a blessing to someone else.
I got sick Dec. 21 at about 4 am. I got sick at my stomach, then diarrah, then come the blood. I poured blood all day. Coy had a Dr. appt for 2:45, did not know if I would be able to go with him or not. I called Nancy to see if she could meet him over there if I was not able. She thought I had a virus, I did not tell her what was going on. I did get to feeling better,not so sick at my stomach. We went on to the Dr. found out Coy needs a total shoulder, his rotator cuff is completely gone. We would have to see another Dr. They would call with an appointment. We came straight home from there. Nancy had hired a girl to come clean my house for my Christmas present and she was here finishing up when we returned. I was so sick, I came in and immediately went a laid down in the living room. I kept thinking the blood would stop, but it didn't. I still told no one how bad I was. I went to bed, got up on Wed. morning and I was no better as I knew that, it was all night. I called my gastro Dr. as soon as he opened, told the nurse what was going on and Dr. Hardin called me back personally, told me to come straight to the hospital, if I came to his office he would just have to send me somewhere else to get test run, so it would be better if I came straight to the Hospital, in which I did. I was there before 9:30. Was going to take shower and wash my hair before I went but he said no come now.
They run blood test of all kinds, hooked me up to IV, did a CT scan and admitted me.
Well when they admitted me I knew I had to tell someone where I was. So I finally called Nancy after I got in my room which was nearly time for her to get off work and I knew she would be calling me as she always does to check up on us. I told her not to come over, I would call her later. I guess she told some of the other kids Maranda called and said they was coming up, Rochell had to see some one as they was coming in on a plane and they was going to the airport.
I was so sick. As soon as I got sick the day before I begin my liquid diet. They kept me on it for 6 days. I was really getting weak. No energy. They did O&P and cultures the next day.
Dr. Hardin said he thought I had food poisioning that just completely made a mess out of my colon. I already had Diverticulum and that caused Diverticulitis and ulcerated colitis so I was in real bad shape and besides that I was dehydrated so they poured the liquids in me.
There I was laid up in the bed and needing to exercise my knee to keep it from getting stiff and didn't even feel like holding my head up. I slept a lot taking pain medicine, the pain was so bad.
I begin having water stools. That was bad and the odor was awful.
Thanks for everyone prayers, that is how I made it through. God is so Good. Sometimes he puts us through things so we can be a blessing to someone else.
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